Last week I received an email from a client sharing her frustrations about knowing what she should be doing, but not being able to follow through.
She explains how she’s “self-sabotaging” her ability to take action.
With her permission, I’ve shared her question and my open response as a window into the mindset shift tha allowed her to continue the powerful work she was ALREADY doing.
CLIENT QUESTION: Working through emotions without self-sabotage
Hey Berleena,
When you feel heavy emotions or just feeling low self-worth how do you work through those feelings?
I've noticed a pattern where I will binge eat, wallow, sleep it off or numb by watching TV, social media, etc for the day.
I also notice I get stuck in this cycle of “numbing” even after I try an “inspired new plan” to do better, I keep defaulting back to that same thing over again! I’m super frustrated with myself!
It sounds so simple in theory to journal, meditate, go outside, listen to something that will make me feel better, but in reality, my default is to just reach for the ice cream and sit in front of the TV.
I wish I was more productive about working through feeling my feelings but honestly it takes me a few days to want to face it.
How do you go about dealing with hard emotions without self-sabotaging the process?
I’d love to chat to you more about this in our next session,
Meagan
REFRAME: Give yourself permission to feel and let go of judgment
Hi Meagan!
First of all, I want to acknowledge you for your self-work in building your awareness and intention to WANT to shift this pattern.
You already know your automatic response is to numb and distract feelings with bingeing or scrolling social media for too long.
I love that you are ready to search underneath this pattern of suppressing feelings and instead, feeling your feelings.
You’re already on your way and ALREADY know how you can support yourself!
What may be helpful to consider here is the judgment your putting on yourself for not being able to better deal with these hard emotions and low self-worth.
This layer of frustration on top of low self-worth feelings is showing up because you're trying to “do it better” or “work on this quicker” or thinking “I should be able to figure this out”.
I get it.
This is a really common stuck point, however, right now is the perfect opportunity to reframe this mindset so that you can move through emotions with more freedom and an ability to let them go.
Could you practice giving yourself PERMISSION to feel and allow the uncomfortable (new layered of frustration) feelings instead of resisting, pushing or wishing them away? Your judgment and meaning you on top of already some big emotions is just adding to your load.
Could you decide to let go of making those feelings mean theirs something “wrong”?
Come back to how you're communicating with yourself and what you make these circumstances MEAN so you step back and separate yourself from these new emotions first.
You may watch emotions peak but know they are not who you are but information for you to interpret and understand so you can pivot your direction.
Hover above and watch yourself thinking your thoughts and the messages you are receiving from these emotions. Choosing to see these emotions as messages and calls to action (be that your walks outside, journaling ect).
I hope this reframe helps you align with the actions you WANT to take while identifying a common core mindset block around how you communicate with yourself.
Speak soon,
Berleena
Do Meagan’s questions resonate with your own experience of dealing with emotions?
Where do you keep yourself stuck and in your head because of critical self-judgment?
Where could you release this layer of judgment and meaning so you can observe and understand these emotions instead?
What information could these feelings be telling you?
There’s no “right” or “wrong” answer here, this practice is about curiosity and processing (instead of suppression and numbing).
See if coaching is a fit for you by booking a free discovery session
To support your first steps towards freedom with food and trust in your body, you can book a free discovery session. Together we will outline the steps you can take to start feeling freedom and trust in your body.